Why did I write The Shyness Guide?

I have not read the Shyness Guide, but I have read the Bird Catcher and Skol! Both great books in my opinion. Check out Alan Conrad

Alan Conrad

rscn4338Now that I’ve published the new edition of The Shyness Guide (the paperback anyway), it’s time to do my first real post for this blog.

On the book’s landing page here, I’ve explained my credentials for writing the book. But why, you may ask, did I feel a need to write another shyness book when there are already over 600 about shyness, introversion, social anxiety, etc? How could there be anything left to say?

Well, because shyness is almost never understood the way I understand it.

My understanding is instinctual. From the day I entered kindergarten I was acutely aware of how different I was. In my novel The Birdcatcher, Chris Stone explains that this way:

I remembered my own first day at school, that morning in September, 1953, when I crouched in a corner of the school’s old brick walls, already instinctively protecting my back, waiting for the doors…

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Believe it or not, YES it can happen!

Take home message…..be optimistic! If you don’t know how to change something you don’t like, never give up and think it’s not achievable. Someone out there will know how to make it happen. Ask for help and everything CAN change.

One day I was talking to one of my dance teachers. The topic of how some people seem to always have a physical feature their entire life came up. A lot of people think if they have always had a certain shape that its impossible to change that shape.

I will say, we definitely do have part of our shape that was genetic..but when it comes to fat and muscle….you don’t ever have to think you will always be stuck looking the same way.

I have a client who I have been working with for close to 5 years now. She was one who had a wider type of hip shape. She and her friends said she has always had those hips. One of her friends who now also trains with me came to me because after my client got pregnant, I got her back into shape. She lost all her baby fat and went beyond where she was before getting pregnant. Nothing about her hips is the same! She is slender all the way down her entire body and has muscle she continues to build. Her friend said she wanted results like that especially in her legs. I told her, I can definitely make that happen!

Interestingly enough, after a few months of training the next client, she too got pregnant. Because she continued to train with me after finding out, she continues to maintain a strong body, and nothing from the back view looks like she is pregnant. You only see it from the side profile. Imagine being pregnant and fit!! From what I understand, its a pretty amazing feeling. This client said this pregnancy is very different from her first one.

I have another client who is in her 70s. I have managed to get 20lbs off of her and she has maintained that over the last 2 years. She gave me a testimonial, and one of many things she said is, since she was a kid, she always had thighs that rubbed together since she can remember. She never thought it was possible to change that…..low and behold…one day while training with me, she stated that out of the blue one day she realized her legs were no longer rubbing! She was super excited! ,

Take home message…..be optimistic! If you don’t know how to change something you don’t like, never give up and think it’s not achievable. Someone out there will know how to make it happen. Ask for help and everything CAN change.

 

Invitation

via Daily Prompt: Invitation

Hmm, interesting…so I decided to try a daily prompt…and it is Invitation…

I read some of the other bloggers posts. So many of them are different, and some seem to have taken it as an invitation to do something completely different.

I think I am taking this as an invitation to explore what daily prompts are all about! 🙂

I read about how to make your daily prompt personal, so that is what I am doing..haha

I have been enjoying getting into the whole world of blogging. Though I havent written that much yet, I am sure over time my blog will become full and have lots of followers. I am a patient human being…havent always been, but over time I have learned how to be. I think my biggest lesson in patience is when I went through 4 years of nursing school. Not only did I have to be patient with myself but I learned that I had to be in order to be able to care for my patients!

Ha funny these two words sound exactly the same Patience and Patients, and Patient has more than one meaning!

Well taking this invitation has taken me on a couple short and different paths.

Thank you Daily Prompt 🙂

Did you Make New Years Resolutions or did you start setting Goals for 2017 in 2016???

I have chosen to write about this topic because for years I would make New Years Resolutions, nothing was happening and I never fulfilled these resolutions. So many people get stuck in this pattern and then a year later they wonder why they are still making the same Resolutions and why they haven’t made progress life.

I have chosen to write about this topic because for years I would make New Years Resolutions, nothing was happening and I never fulfilled these resolutions. So many people get stuck in this pattern and then a year later they wonder why they are still making the same Resolutions and why they haven’t made progress life.

Since becoming a personal trainer, and since getting some life coaching for a year for myself when I was in a major rut, I have become really sharp at helping people with Goal Setting. Now every year in December I start thinking about my goals for 2017 and then start planning.

Lets take a look at the definitions of Resolutions Vs. Goals!

Resolution can be defined as:

  1. a firm decision to do or not to do something or
  2. the act of solving a problem or contentious matter

Goal can be defined as:

  1. the object of a persons ambition or effort; an aim or desired result

Can you see the difference? To me a resolution is now just the beginning. You can decide that you want to do something or stop doing something, but without putting in the proper steps the desired result will not be achieved. Resolutions also tend to be very general. Goal Setting if done properly should have Goals that are SMART.

Specific

Measurable

Achievable, Attainable, Action-oriented

Realistic, Relevant, Results-oriented

Time-based, Timely, Tangible, Trackable

An example of each would be as follows:

Resolution: lose weight

SMART Goal: A bride may write  – I want to work with a trainer in order to lose 25lbs by May 29, 2017 so that I look and feel amazing in my wedding dress and look great for my pictures

  • this is very specific
  • this is measurable both with a scale and body measurements and
  • requires the action of hiring a trainer to ensure success and is absolutely achievable
  • it is realistic if the clients follows everything the trainer says to do for 5 months
  • definitely time based, and trackable

Can you see how much more success someone will have making goals in this fashion than making a resolution for weight loss?

Sometimes I come across people who know what they should be doing, and have all the right intentions.  Sometimes certain life circumstances out of that persons control serve as obstacles and things that can slow down progress when that person would probably be fine if life wasn’t so stressful.  When this is the case, I dig far deeper into the initial SMART GOALS, and work on a lot of mindset work after people have dug deep into their inner being and figure out the where, why, what, how of everything. On a deeper level this is to ensure those Resolutions and Goals get met. Is this you ?

I invite people to respond. If you already know how to set goals that is great and I wish you all the best for 2017. If you still need help after reading this, or you are in a deeper rut, I invite you to ask more questions. I am happy to help

Happy 2017 to everyone 🙂

 

Fitness Topics

I would like to be able to provide people with information about Health and Fitness Topics.

For me just because of my busy schedule, I think it would work better if people reply to this blog post with things you may want to learn about or want a different opinion about. That way I can manage my time better and not get overwhelmed with trying to make a decision about which topics to write about. Some topics may spark others at which time I will start to think about what comes next.

I look forward to hearing from youimg_20160518_183738

Welcome to my Blog

For some time I have been thinking about starting a blog. There have been many things that I think have kept me from starting one. Maybe they are just excuses, but I see those things as more obstacles to starting than anything else.

The largest obstacles have been:

Spreading myself too thin thinking that I can be super woman and make tonnes of money by not only being a personal trainer, but working at growing a travel business and a business through Arbonne.
Dealing with a health issue that was “aggravated” by doing a fitness competition in 2014. I have had fibroids for years, but they grew rapidly after the fitness competition.

For some time I have been thinking about starting a blog. There have been many things that I think have kept me from starting one. Maybe they are just excuses, but I see those things as more obstacles to starting than anything else.

The largest obstacles have been:

  1. Spreading myself too thin thinking that I can be super woman and make tonnes of money by not only being a personal trainer, but working at growing a travel business and a business through Arbonne.
  2. Dealing with a health issue that was “aggravated” by doing a fitness competition in 2014. I have had fibroids for years, but they grew rapidly after the fitness competition.

I pretty much got sucked down into being distracted by the obstacles, and thinking I could make every single one of them be as successful as the other. My reasoning was, I am generally very successful in everything I decide to do, and excel, so why would I not be able to make all 3 of these fly!?

Time passed, different events occured with the Travel and Arbonne side that were all pointing to either this is a waste of my time, or I really like this, but I just dont have the time on a consistent basis to put into either of these to make them as successful as my personal training career is.

I dropped Arbonne and immediately grew my personal training business and the new business I train in exponentially. Part of me really wanted to hold on to the Travel side of things because I had great perks and it gave me great new experiences that allowed me to grow as an individual…but in 2.5 years, really it was not paying off as it should. That was only because I was inconsistent, but it was for a reason. My passion lies in helping people develop healthier lifestyles!!! I recently gave in my official resignation, and now I feel absolutely free to further develop as a personal trainer and further develop the business.

Where do I train you ask? CoreFit Training http://www.corefit.ca

Once again as soon as I dropped another obstacle, immediately I continue to grow the business! I can do that, I can think about using spare time to study new courses, and I can actually use some more spare time to pick up some things I had dropped for a while. I am also a dancer. I am a professional Middle Eastern Dance Instructor and Performer, and as a hobby I am a Flamenco Dancer. I am also studying the Martial Art Muay Thai, and at some point want to pick up Jujitsu.

Even though I picked up Arbonne and the Travel piece to get myself to a place where I can do what I want where I want when I want….I can actually do that now! haha. I just have to meld my schedule in such a way to make the most money I can, then I can do anything…and selling personal training to people isnt really selling the way I approach things. All i want is to help people, provide them the best service I can in order for them to become healthier, stronger and happier versions of themselves. I can turn people into the best version of themselves! Having my nursing background has been a major factor in the way I approach personal training with people.

My other obstacle messes with my head! Having two fibroids both the size of a baby fetus actually makes me look slightly pregnant. My body otherwise looks really fit, I am strong, and I have lots of great muscle. I gained a few extra pounds….and it makes my belly look bigger than in actually is because of these fibroids. They grew really fast a few months after my first fitness competition. Now I have had my mother, my bosses mother, and a  few clients ask me if I am expecting! LMAO I have to explain to them what is going on. I hate it with a passion.  Imagine the amount of psychological work I had to do with myself first to accept a new stronger body in 2015 after getting down to a skinny nothing for the stage in November 2014. I finally came to peace with myself being heavier, but still lean and more muscular. Then these things start popping out of my belly!! So now I am going through more self-image issues because of a belly that shouldn’t be there!

I went to my family doctor, i asked for a referral to a new Gynecologist. I went, and he said either I get a hysterectomy or i use one of two methods to shrink the fibroids and then get them taken out. Even though I have no plans for children…I don’t want or feel it is necessary to cut everything out. I am 41….I still have some years before I hit menopause…I don’t want to bring it on any sooner than I have to. Another option is medication to shrink them, then a procedure to remove them….I am not a fan of starting any medication and especially one that is going to cost a couple hundred dollars a month! There was also the option to have a procedure to shrink the fibroids then a procedure to get them out.

All I hear is procedure, procedure, procedure!! Hellllloooooo!!! As a personal trainer if I am not working, I am not getting paid…so for me, I need the least amount of time off work or zero time away from work if possible. I refuse to believe I have to do anything unnecessary. I decided to look up natural or herbal ways to deal with the fibroids…..

This is where I am at now. Done some research and going to try a more “holistic” avenue first. We will see over the next few months how it goes….but at least now that I have stopped procrastinating on this option, I feel more at peace, and this health related obstacle is being plowed through now. Hence, the beginning of my blog.

This blog will be everything health, wellness and fitness related. It will be both things happening to me, and things I get asked about and am willing to share and things that are out there that I feel need to be addressed.

I hope you enjoy my blog, and our journey together!!