Arising from the Ashes : Flamenco

Arising from the ashes back in July, really ruffled a lot of “feathers” in me as a woman reaching mid-life. Perhaps you could even say I experienced a serious mid-life crisis! Doesn’t matter to me what you call it…hahah!

Fact is, I went down a dark path, somehow I found my way out even though i got very lost in a world i didn’t know, and because it all happened I am new and improved!

I have found a new zest for life, new found artistic creativity, and am open to all the positive energy that wants to surround me. When you are open to different energies it is what you attract. No more darkness for me…perhaps at that point in my life, I welcomed the unknown darkness because its something I never experienced before and as someone said to me recently,

Flamenco Juerga

maybe i felt guilt for something else I had done and felt it necessary to punish myself. When they said that to me, in my head I was like OMG!! They could be SOOOO right!

SOMETIMES actions we take are totally subconscious.

I am always willing to be open to new experiences…but there is a point when enough is enough and you have to know when to get out or you truly will be lead astray.  I had a moment like that, I was like….

Whoa….this just happened and this was scary…. i can’t let anything affect my ability to dance! %$%&@&$%@ THIS @@%$%@&&&!!!!

For the longest while, still being in “the darkness” was affecting my ability to concentrate in flamenco dance, it was affecting my willingness to push and create a short bit of choreography for a solo in the recital in June, and i hated this feeling. I didn’t know what to do. But I still kept going to class.

Once I put an end to “the darkness”, all of a sudden the light shone! And i mean did it ever shine!!!!

I decided to put any further energy whether positive or negative into the remainder of my flamenco classes in the last couple weeks leading up to our student recital!

And oh boy…..the light and the fire went WHOOSH inside of me ….and emanated out. My red dress…the yellow shawl….. it was the best performance I ever had. It was only the beginning of more!

 

Advertisements

Sequel to Arising from the Ashes

I don’t want just anything marking my body. If i get something, its going to my grave or my cremation with me….. 

My how time flies!

It seems like just yesterday I posted about how I had been to hell and back, and its actually been about 2 months since that post!

For years I have been thinking about getting a tattoo. But it wasn’t something I wanted to jump into lightly. I remember one time being on vacation in Mexico and deciding to get a henna tattoo of a tiger on my back because i like cats both domestic and wild. I thought, I would get it to see what it was like to have something on my body. I liked it, and at the time (probably over 5 years ago now) i thought, Ok, so….I want to get a tattoo….but what will it be?

I had no direction for one, no meaning for one. So i thought, maybe I will try designing one myself out of all the things i am passionate about it life. (Music, Song, Dance, Movement etc.)…. but i was like, this is too hard…forget it. If I am meant to get a tattoo, there will be a reason for it and a story and a meaning behind it. If I never have a reason, I just won’t do anything.

I don’t want just anything marking my body. If i get something, its going to my grave or my cremation with me…..

It was after my last post about arising from the ashes that I realized what the tattoo should be. Next I was like, well…. where should i put it?! I looked at pictures of all the different places on the body people put this particular tattoo. I still didn’t know, but I did know that I didn’t want it to go on any body part of which i really like to see my muscle. (so no tattoo on the back, the arms, shoulders or the abs). I also figure, although I am very fit, I don’t know what my body will be like when I am 80. What does a fit 80 year old woman look like? What does a fit 90 year old woman look like? What does a fit 100 year old woman look like? …. Uh… yes… I plan to live that long! 😉

Someone said to me, now that you know what your tattoo is, at some point something will happen and you will know where on the body it should be. Something did happen (I can’t remember what now…hahaha) and i decided on the right calf. I also narrowed down my tattoo from 70 + different designs (style, size, colour/black) to 5 of the same style, and then chose one.

Then one day, i was sitting on a patio with a friend of mine, and she told me she was thinking about getting a tattoo! I got so excited!

Then she told me that a member of a band we know in Toronto got her Tattoos done with Merlina Tattoo (a travelling tattoo artist currently residing in Toronto http://merlinatattoo.com/ ) As we were sitting there listening to Jazz and eating and drinking sangria..I looked at the website and said, “I have to book a consultation now! I am going to email Merlina!”

My friend and I talked more about what we were thinking about for tattoos. I showed her my thought and she showed me hers. At that point we both agreed, she would come with me to my consultation and when I get my tattoo done, and I would do the same for her. Moral support with the pain factor and all! lmao

Yesterday I looked at the Facebook Page for Merlina Tattoo, and I saw that I can only get it done up until October 15th, then I would have to wait again until April 2019!! I was like, I am getting it this fall! Oh, and now I am debating a small to medium one on the calf vs a large one up my entire right leg! We’ll see what comes of my consultation tonight! I am SOOOOOOOOO Excited!

When I actually get it, and its healed I will take a picture, and write a blog about the meaning behind it… it may even be grounds for a novel ….hmmmmm

arisefromashes