Arising from the ashes back in July, really ruffled a lot of “feathers” in me as a woman reaching mid-life. Perhaps you could even say I experienced a serious mid-life crisis! Doesn’t matter to me what you call it…hahah!
Fact is, I went down a dark path, somehow I found my way out even though i got very lost in a world i didn’t know, and because it all happened I am new and improved!
I have found a new zest for life, new found artistic creativity, and am open to all the positive energy that wants to surround me. When you are open to different energies it is what you attract. No more darkness for me…perhaps at that point in my life, I welcomed the unknown darkness because its something I never experienced before and as someone said to me recently,
maybe i felt guilt for something else I had done and felt it necessary to punish myself. When they said that to me, in my head I was like OMG!! They could be SOOOO right!
SOMETIMES actions we take are totally subconscious.
I am always willing to be open to new experiences…but there is a point when enough is enough and you have to know when to get out or you truly will be lead astray. I had a moment like that, I was like….
Whoa….this just happened and this was scary…. i can’t let anything affect my ability to dance! %$%&@&$%@ THIS @@%$%@&&&!!!!
For the longest while, still being in “the darkness” was affecting my ability to concentrate in flamenco dance, it was affecting my willingness to push and create a short bit of choreography for a solo in the recital in June, and i hated this feeling. I didn’t know what to do. But I still kept going to class.
Once I put an end to “the darkness”, all of a sudden the light shone! And i mean did it ever shine!!!!
I decided to put any further energy whether positive or negative into the remainder of my flamenco classes in the last couple weeks leading up to our student recital!
And oh boy…..the light and the fire went WHOOSH inside of me ….and emanated out. My red dress…the yellow shawl….. it was the best performance I ever had. It was only the beginning of more!